I hate being sick.
I remember faking the occasional stomach ache as a kid (it was so easy, considering all the ACTUAL stomach aches I had - undiagnosed lactose intolerance, anyone?), and loving those "days off". If only I knew.
Did you know that, as the newest, and therefore, least "evolved" blood type, ABs have, as a result, the least evolved immune system? It's true! Did you know my blood type is AB? It is! I get sick a lot. And to add insult to injury, the fun and exciting illnesses I get knock my immune system down even more. That evil case of mono I got when I was 14 was a bold forewarning to years of strep throat and bronchitis. After about 8 years of that, my body seemed to tire of it and moved on to its ongoing goal: to catch every single cold and flu that goes around. It's been about 10 years since that started, and the introduction of children into my life in there somewhere has encouraged my body to continue reaching for the stars. The successes have been astounding. Not only to I tend to catch the colds and flus, but I go that extra mile and get strains and viruses that nobody around me has! AND I get all of these WORSE than anyone.
This makes me unhappy.
I've tried it all: vitamins, more rest, positive thinking, energy work, healthier diet, trying to ignore being sick (uh, that doesn't work, by the way), working through it (that seems to make me SICKER...can you believe it?), taking to bed, and oh GOD anyone who knows me even a little knows what a germophobe I am.
Despite all of these efforts, I continue to sniffle, cough, poo and fall to fatigue through my life.
People think I'm faking.
People, this is FAR TOO BORING to be worth faking. Besides, I want to keep my job, y'know? Oh, and I have to take care of my THREE CHILDREN. I love my children. I love taking care of them. No way I'd fake a tummy ache to get out of it.
People think it's psychosomatic.
You know, I don't think so. If it is, then the power of my mind is astounding. Because the physical manifestations are pretty damn convincing. So...even if it starts, as some believe, in the brain, it doesn't matter, because it ends up being physically real.
People...people just can't relate, most of the time.
It's okay! I understand! I understand that you do not understand. Dudes, I'm JEALOUS that you do not understand!
*sigh*
Okay now that I've vented, I feel better.
Mentally, I mean.
Emotionally, even.
Physically, I still feel like I recently got hit by a very sharp bus. Whose exhaust fumes burned my esophagus. And whose screaming passengers damaged my psyche to the point that I have to purge my bowels every couple of hours or so.
Did that even make sense?
Have I revealed too much?
Bah.
I'm going to bed.
Oh, speaking of which! I can't sleep! lie down and instantly my throat becomes drier than the driest desert! And then I start to cough and I cough and I cough and my eyes water and I feel like if I don't stop coughing very soon, I'll puke! And then I sit up and I have some water and a Halls, which is the only combination of things that helps me!
And today! I lay in bed for two hours listening to my soothing thunder cd (I listened to it twice over!), had two coughing fits, and FINALLY drifted off to sleep, for maybe three minutes before I awoke to find myself CHOKING. On something. So I gagged a whole bunch and coughed and worked really hard not to throw up and once I could breathe again, I cried because I am TIRED!
Hahahahahaha!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've made you suffer with me. My wish is that you are healthy. Enjoy your health. Breathe! Sleep! Eat yummy food! Pretend you never read this!
Hey, if nothing else, perhaps I've encouraged you to never take your health for granted. Good Lord, I'm a good person. I've done this for you even though I'm sick.
Your welcome!